1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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