Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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