I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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