What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
