just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
