Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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