I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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