So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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