I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
