it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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