I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You don't make any sense
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