I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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