the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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