Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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