i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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