My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
