are you so shy because you have an std?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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