I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
