whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
