She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
