I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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