we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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