if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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