There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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