He uses pillows to masturbate.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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