allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize