kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
