Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize