and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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