if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
love makes seman taste better
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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