she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize