worst night to have a conscience
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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