Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
