i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
