Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
two words...techno handjob
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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