I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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