I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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