i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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