I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
