I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
