Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
