before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
