I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
