Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
