Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
