Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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