Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
