I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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