You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
