my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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