my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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