I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
