thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize