There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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