Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
