Don't you send me to vm
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
