Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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