his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
