Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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