Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
