He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
