Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize