i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
