Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Send help, water and tortillas.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
